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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
David Sims' LiveJournal:
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| Friday, October 19th, 2007 | | 3:33 am |
Whee......!
I had a Dead Mississippian or two tonight. My list of who I will allow to survive to serve me once the final night comes has been slightly re-arranged.
Cheers,
Sims!
Sims!
The Dreaded Sims!
The Invincible Sims!
Sims!
Sims! | | Tuesday, October 16th, 2007 | | 1:08 pm |
| | Thursday, September 27th, 2007 | | 10:23 am |
| | 10:11 am |
Vatican Expresses Disapproval of Burmese Crackdown
In a statement released by Vatican officials earlier today, Pope Imperius I praised the monks of Burma for their heroic resistance to an authoritarian regime. "Our hearts go out to these men of faith who stand firm in their beliefs. In an age of moral relativism, they are unwilling to compromise on what they know is right. In an age of disbelief, they are willing to die for their faith. We admire their courage and pray for their deliverance and salvation," said Pope Imperius, whose strong stance on inter-faith cooperation is sometimes overshadowed by his belligerent militarism. The pope went on to strongly condemn the recent brutal crackdown the Burmese regime has initiated in an effort to silence the protests. "These men prey upon the weak and delight in the suffering of the helpless. There is no good thing that they do not seek to destroy. The Buddhists believe that there are nine hells; our own faith makes clear that hell has nine circles. It is clear to me that, if nothing changes, after their time on earth has ended these men will find their feet bound to the back of flaming chariots and their souls dragged facedown through all eighteen of these hells for all eternity. Though if anyone else can think of a worse and more appropriate punishment, we would be happy to pass the suggestion along." Imperius ended his statement with a call for a United Nations military intervention to be led by the Swiss Guard. | | Tuesday, September 25th, 2007 | | 9:32 am |
Wow.
"Leo July 23 - August 22Your belief in holding doors open for women, pulling their chairs out for them, and offering to pay for dinner all make you an old-fashioned type of guy. As does your belief that women shouldn't have the right to vote."
Wow, they've got me pegged... | | Thursday, September 20th, 2007 | | 12:01 am |
The more things change...
From Kipling's "The Ballad of Boh Da Thone"
Boh Da Thone was a warrior bold:
His sword and his Snider were bossed with gold, And the Peacock Banner his henchmen bore
Was stiff with bullion, but stiffer with gore. He shot at the strong and he slashed at the weak
From the Salween scrub to the Chindwin teak: He crucified noble, he sacrificed mean,
He filled old ladies with kerosene: While over the water the papers cried,
"The patriot fights for his countryside!" But little they cared for the Native Press,
The worn white soldiers in Khaki dress, Who tramped through the jungle and camped in the byre,
Who died in the swamp and were tombed in the mire, Who gave up their lives, at the Queen's Command,
For the Pride of their Race and the Peace of the Land. | | Friday, September 14th, 2007 | | 4:44 pm |
by popular request
1. Go to http://www.careercruising.com/.
2. Put in Username: nycareers, Password: landmark.
3. Take their "Career Matchmaker" questions.
4. Post the top ten results.
1. Conqueror
2. Hit Man
3. Kingmaker
4. Demagogue
5. Warlord
6. Dental Hygenist
7. Heretical Religious Leader
8. Shaman
9. Mau'dib
10. Elector of the Holy Roman Empire I note a certain amount of overlap here. | | Monday, September 10th, 2007 | | 7:47 pm |
uh-oh
According to the AP, the title of the next Indiana Jones movie is "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull." That worries me. His holiness Pope Imperius I is already concerned about the new movie and suspects that it might not be cannon. | | 10:28 am |
Draeger Tales
Occasionally I hear stories about Donn Draeger, my sword instructor's first teacher. Draeger was a legend in his own time, probably the foremost English-speaking expert on martial arts during his life. He was also a badass mofo. You know all those Chuck Norris facts? Most of them are based on things that Draeger actually did. On ordinary stuff that Draeger did; the crazy stuff that Draeger did just isn't funny.
This weekend I heard one of my all-time favorite Draeger tales. Draeger was a judo man, but he studied just about everything at least once, and he loved testing himself against people from other styles. One day he accepted a challenge from a karate guy for a little no-holds-barred match. During the course of the match, the karate guy unleashed a devestating kick to Draeger's groin. Draeger ignored the pain, grabbed the karate guy, and immediately choked him out. He then staggered back to his apartment and passed out in a chair. When he awoke hours later, he could not stand up. For two days he sat in that chair, surviving off water and tapioca pudding from a minifridge that happened to be within arms reach, until finally some folks noticed that he was missing and went looking for him. When Draeger was taken to the hospital, he learned that the karate man's kick had broken Draeger's pelvis. And Draeger still took him down. | | Monday, September 3rd, 2007 | | 5:44 pm |
Dear Girl That is in a Relationship, I notice that you have disregarded my previous request to stop being so hot. If this persists, I'm afraid that your boyfriend might suffer a small accident. Specifically, I'm afraid that he might fall. Onto some ninja. | | Thursday, August 30th, 2007 | | 3:41 pm |
Dear Girl that is in a Relationship,
Stop being so damn hot. I mean, this is getting ridiculous.
best,
David | | Wednesday, August 29th, 2007 | | 4:38 pm |
Maturing
When you think about asking a girl out, there are a lot of questions in your mind. I remember a time when all of my questions boiled down to, "does she like me, and can I overcome my nervousness enough to find out?" These days my questions all seem to boil down to, "is dealing with any woman really worth the trouble?" That probably makes me old, bitter, and cynical.
| | Monday, August 27th, 2007 | | 4:58 pm |
from the Cincinnati airport:
Delta Airlines now has my permission to sodomize itself with the trident of Mighty Poseidon. In other news, the alternate reality is a blast. Also, everyone should read Soon I Will Be Invincible. It is made of awesome, and in some ways is the book that I've been wanting to write for a couple of years. Thanks to Adam for providing me with enough laughs to keep me from saying extremely profane things to certain airport staff. | | 1:47 am |
Ah, delta, how do I love thee:
Flight from Atlanta to Charlottesville was cancelled after rather lengthy delays. Currently staying at a hotel in Atlanta. Interestingly enough, at some point during my flight I seem to have been re-routed into a strange alternate reality. More information on this reality as it becomes available. | | Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007 | | 10:17 pm |
In the history of human cruelty, I don't think that we have invented a punishment bad enough for the men responsible for this. That is evil; pure and unexcusable evil. On the same subject, a leader from this week's Economist: When Murder is Just Plain Murder. | | Tuesday, August 21st, 2007 | | 10:58 pm |
the crazy ticker
Just so y'all know, my UVA-based friends have just leaped ahead of my Ole Miss friends in Crazy points. What's up with that? | | Friday, August 17th, 2007 | | 2:28 pm |
Dear Employer, I am impressed, no, really impressed, by your creativity. However, I simply do not believe that you cannot meet with me today because your daughter was abducted by the Lava Men. I base this on the fact that I was drinking with the Lava Men last night, and by the time the cab dropped them off at their subterranean kingdom, they were too trashed to unlock their own door, much less find their way back to the surface to abduct someone. Besides, if they were abducting someone, I don't think it would be a girl, if you know what I mean. Nice try, though. best, David | | Thursday, August 16th, 2007 | | 12:30 pm |
more letters
Dear Girl In Front of Me In Line at Lunch Yesterday, I don't know your name or anything else about you, but would you be interested in moving in with me? Did I say that out loud? Damn. sincerely, David Dear Employer, if you want to cancel our appointment-- for the second time this week, and after vanishing mysteriously for a couple of weeks without giving me any heads-up-- just tell me. You don't need an excuse. You certainly don't need to deliberately provoke a yellowjacket attack in order to get an excuse. What will it be today, I wonder? "I'll have to meet with you tomorrow; we're having volcano problems," would be about par for the course. best, David | | Wednesday, August 8th, 2007 | | 12:00 pm |
| | Friday, August 3rd, 2007 | | 6:10 pm |
letters, again.
Dear Girl that I Talked to Today in the Library,
I recognize that you are a complex and interesting person, with a good mind and exciting personality, and not merely a pair of attractive legs with a body attached.
But damn, those are nice legs. I mean, seriously. They've got to be at least a mile long. I could...
Oh, I'm sorry, what were you saying?
sincerely,
David |
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